Despite
the many romantic attributes that could be said of men in Nigeria, women still
hold a contrary account about them. Predominant among the contrary views women
hold against men here is that no matter how romantic they are, getting them to
the altar for marriage could be very challenging.
So, what
are those factors that scare Nigerian men away from marriage? We have tried to
compile some reasons that make most men feel jittery to converse on ‘Marriage’
as topic, feel free to add yours if not in our list.
1. No wife
materials
Common
among some men is the reservation that there is scarcity of ‘wife-materials’ in
Nigeria. In this case, they are not referring to ladies not being in
quantifiable distribution among men, what they are complaining about is that
most ladies of this generation lack the necessary attributes that will qualify
them for the lifetime commitment called marriage. If this is the case, time of
quality search can help heal the wound of such man.
2. They get
sex freely without marriage than in time past
Realizing
now that they can get sex more easily than in times past, when ‘virginity’ for
women was a pass value to marriage, some men now feel lot of women today have
lost it when it comes to keeping themselves whole. But, this might not be the
fault of women as promiscuity is not an exclusive act than can be carried out
without the consent of either gender.
3. Nigeria
weddings are expensive
In a
country where a man is expected to marry a woman in three different kinds of
wedding- Religious, Traditional and Court, the cost of marriage no doubt is
something men find very intimidating. As of last year, the average Nigeria
wedding cost something like N500,000 and the it goes upward from that to
more unimaginable cost. For most people, especially in this economy, that’s a
lot of money. But all we advise is that men should try and cut their coat
according to their material
4. In search
of a ‘working class’
Today,
most Nigerian men are in search of a wife capable of
sharing financial responsibilities with them. Gone are the days when
men marry ‘full-house-wives’, the increasing cost of living has
tilted most men in favor of ladies who have a means of livelihood and willing
to share with their man, the burden of building a home.
5. Fear of
freedom
There is
a common belief among some men that marriage puts an end to one’s freedom.
Single men today are much more proud about not being dependent and being on
their own. They fear marriage because they will become answerable for every
action they take to their spouse. That is one big responsibility some men are
not ready to take up.
6. Career
One of
the predominant question most men will secretly ask themselves before making
the decision to marry are, Will my partner make agitated about me being in
office for long hours? Will he or she understand my love for my career? These
are cogent questions and answering these questions could slow the decisive
actions to be taken on marriage plans.
7. Unrealistic
Expectations from In-laws
Some
parents have set certain standards for anyone who will marry their child,
either way be it that such expectations are from the groom parent’s or bride,
the regulations sometimes affect relationships. If the expectations are
behavioral, the challenge might be little but e are some discouraging
situations where parents decide the profession qualifications, properties, etc
that must be acquired by the suitor before they can give out their child to him
in marriage.
8. Trust
issues
Most
times, people fear to get committed into a relationship because of trust
issues. Some men have been bruised in their past relationships and therefore
they don’t want to put themselves out there.
9. Bad
Testimonies from Married couple
Generally,
most men get intimidated by marriage as a result of the testimonies they hear
from those in marriage. Before getting into marriage talks, it is a common
thing among men to ask their brothers, friends who are already married on how
the social institution is and the testimonies they get are most times
discouraging, as such they fear their marriage will be a replica of the
testimonies they have gathered.
10. Cultural
limitations
Nigeria
is a country with diverse culture and The diversity sometimes create challenges
for men who are in search of women with similar culture. The good thing though
is that those who endeavor to explore inter-cultural relationships get the
opportunity to gain an in-depth appreciation of other customs.
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