In Nigeria, the issue of marriage is an important one and many people value it more than having success in life. For the women, it is generally seen as an important thing because of parental pressure. Most women who remain unmarried yet the time they are 30 years are mostly thought as not being wife material and their chances of remaining single for life increases after that.
1. Selectiveness: The modern day Nigerian woman is more selective than in the olden times. This is because women are more educated and their parents no longer have the sole right of handing them out in marriage. Today's Nigerian women tend to know that they also have a right to choose who they want to marry and for this, they reject a lot of suitors for one reason or the other. They've not yet seen their ideal man. Most men they meet are below their standard or don't operate at the same wavelength as they do. Women can be selective in terms of physical appearance, financial status, age, religion, tribe and so on. It is ok to be selective but a lady could increase her chances of getting married by being less selective.
2. Career lifestyle: Most Nigerian men tend to prefer women who work less and have time for family and home. She needs to slow down on work and have time for other things that would lead to marriage. The modern day Nigerian women on the other hand prefers to have a career and pursue it to the fullest even if it causes her to lose out in social or family life. A career women has a lower chance of getting married than a jobless or less hardworking one but she could increase her chances by focusing on getting married to her colleagues at work but this is not so common since there are a lot of social differences at work such as religion, tribe and language. Most Nigerian men who are rich enough to marry would prefer a woman who would not mind being a housewife.
3. Low social activity: Nowadays, it is hard to get married if you are not social. A Nigerian woman needs to be in the public eye so that she would catch the eye of many suitors. Most men don't go to family homes just to see girls they'd love to marry but they do spend time at social places like restaurants, bars, fellowships, religious and ethnic centres. A lady can increase her chances of getting married by going to weddings, church, public institutions and other social places. Staying indoors and introverted can reduce your chances of getting married. Nowadays, with the availability of websites like Facebook, it is even easier to advertise your profile and picture publicly. More and more women are getting married through social networks like Facebook. One should go to positive social places in order to increase her chances of getting married.
4. Wrong male friends: Many Nigerian women are unmarried because they tend to have a lot of wrong male friends. You should choose the right type of friends and by that I mean friends that are actually ready to settle down. If she makes friends with a lot of guys who are jobless,have no serious future plans or players, then her chances of remaining single would remain high. She could change that situation by making new male friends and this is quite easier if one joins a social group that shares the same positive interests as you do.
5. Choice: There are also a growing number of Nigerian women who choose not to get married by choice. This could be as a result of their commitment to other areas in life. She may choose to remain single as a result of bad experience from dating, career advancement, love for the single life, unwillingness to submit to a man, inability to remain faithful or for spiritual reasons. A single woman who has chosen to be single may also choose to be a single parent and this is becoming common in our world today. Most single women tend to have more financial balance and do well in their work or business. These women who choose not to get married tend to be the most fulfilled and less depressed among unmarried women. However, they are not well accepted by the Nigerian society and may be isolated.
6. Being too rich: Most Nigerian men are less likely to marry women who are richer than them. A lot of single Nigerian woman who are rich are less likely to get married than the ones who are dependent. Naturally, men because of their ego would like getting married to women who would be dependent on them or at least not too independent. They won't prefer a woman who already makes more money than they do even before getting married. Only very few men would not mind and so this reduces the chances of a rich single lady getting married. She could increase her chances of getting married by being less noticeably rich. She could do things like taking public transport rather than having a flashy car, living with parents rather than in fully furnished apartment, dress a bit less flashy and blend in. Even if she is rich, she doesn't have to rub it in too much in public so that men would at least be a bit confident in approaching her.
7. Spiritual bondage: This is also another reason I believe many Nigerians would agree to. Some young women could be unmarried because they are in a spiritual bondage. At times, no matter what she does to get married, she always ends up losing out in the end. She may meet the right people, have a good character, be an ok wife material and goes out for socials but she never gets married. If you feel you have tried everything you need to do in order to get married, seeking for spiritual solutions to your problems may very well be the answer. Spiritual solutions have a way of changing one's negative energy into positivity and it is only with a positive mind can one advance socially.
8. Age: For most Nigerian women, the reason why they find it hard getting married could be because of their age. Some have gone past their youthful years(18 to 30) and many men don't think it is a good idea to marry these type of women. This is common among educated women who didn't get married before they graduated from the university or in their first few years of their career. Most of these women may tend to lie or hide their real age in some cases just to get married. The older a woman is, the harder it is to get married since they'd be less single men and the Nigerian society doesn't exactly approve of marrying women who may be considered less fertile or too experienced. You may find a 50 year old man marrying an 18 year old girl but very impossible in the case of a 50 year old woman. The best thing for a woman to do is to relate with men who are a bit older than her rather than seeking younger men. A woman despite her age can also get married if she looks much younger and things like good food, good health and exercise can help.
9. Parental approval: It may be funny but true. For some Nigerian women, their parents actually don't mind their daughter's remaining single since that means she'd always be available to them. Some parents, consciously or unconsciously, would do things that encourage the unmarried lady to keep staying at her family home and taking care of her parents and this is mostly the case for a woman who is already financially successful. This is more common among where there is only a single parent. The parents would keep supporting the lady's single life as long as she keeps bringing food to the table. For those parents, it is better to keep having her at home than having another man take her away.
10. Unattractiveness: The truth is that nature favours people who are attractive to those who are unattractive. If a lady appears unattractive and hence unappealing to men, she is also less likely to get a marriage proposal. Being unattractive can be described in many ways. It could be her physical features, her poor dressing, bad hairdo, weak posture, lack of sexiness and so on. Nature has its own way of making women of marriageable age appear attractive to men and this happens during puberty. Women who take less care of their physical appearance could also be spoiling their chances of getting married. The good thing is that in our world of today, there really is nor ugly woman who can't be beautified thanks to makeup and medicine. With modern science, even the most ugly woman can be made a bit attractive.
These are just some of the reasons why a growing number of Nigerian women are remaining unmarried. However, I do believe that whenever there is a will, there is always a way. I recall a single female neighbour just got married even though she was past child bearing age and to a man who didn't need more children since he was a widower. I guess for both of them, it was not really about sex but about companionship.
I do agree that there are really some benefits of being married just as there are also some benefits of remaining single. However, in Nigeria, the single life is not that socially acceptable as much as the married life.
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